Freedom from myself
I'm a small man writing small words on my small laptop at midnight, why should anyone care?
For a couple years now I've been writing a personal journal, part of it on paper and part digitally. I've been writing about a lot of other stuff I find interesting, using writing as a tool of thought. It seems that now in the age of information hitting your brain at 10 gigabits per second, this is the only way to fully take ideas to their conclusion. No longer are your words just a floating haze in your head, they are no solidified into a medium where you can inspect them, see them for what they truly mean.
But I started feeling lonely. All my life, I've taken to solving my inner problems on my own, it's not that I didn't have anyone willing to support me, my family and friends couldn't be better. But it's that I didn't want to burden them with my problems "I'm sure they have their own set of problems they don't talk about". My writing has been a secret, for no one to see or hear. I'm not sure if what I'm doing here is healthy or not, but it feels like the morally correct thing to do. I do hear a lot of my friends' problems and I try to help them through, but when it comes to myself I always find it hard to share, after all why would I, can't I solve my own problems.
The problem is this urge that has been hitting me over and over, to share anything with anyone. I was fed too much of information that I had to give back, and this is what I will be trying to do here, in this small blog of mine. I would like to write about so much, about things I read, about experiences I have, about movies, music, religion, the whole deal. But I'm too cowardly of committing these to my own name, why? This is something for me to discuss with my self later on.
So here will be my ground of experiments, and you should have yours too. A place to share unfiltered thoughts without the burden of your old identity. Without fear of judgment or opinions. I didn't realize how afraid I was from committing to writing something, "what if I'm really bad at it, am I dumb".
I guess we'll find out, give it some time.
w/love <3